The other day I stepped into an elevator and out of the corner of my eye I saw a woman rushing toward the elevator.  I pushed and held the “DOOR OPEN” button until the woman entered the elevator.  The woman smiled at me and thanked me for holding the elevator for her.  She mentioned that most people would not have held the elevator.  I told her that it is sometimes the little things that mean so much.  A minute or so later she stepped out of the elevator and then so did I.  We went on our own separate paths.  I did not know that lady and honestly I don’t even remember what she looks like. What has been stuck in my head is that holding the elevator for that lady was so simple but it made a positive impact in both her day and mine. 

I have seen and read about coffee shops where one customer “pays it forward” and buys the stranger behind them a cup of coffee.  The recipient of the free cup of coffee continues the act and before long hundreds of customers carry on this chain reaction.  Every time I see or hear about these types of stories I get goose bumps. 

Holding that elevator did not cost me a penny and I invested less than 30 seconds of my time.  Paying it forward with a cup of coffee is only a few dollars.  Normally the time, effort, and money that you put into a random act of kindness is so minute compared to the joy that you get out of it seeing the recipient’s reaction.

So please stop and think about giving this type of gift. Everyone has something to give.  Eye contact and a smile, holding open a door, allowing someone to go ahead of you in line, these are just a couple of ways to get the ball rolling.  Go ahead and try it!

I found a nice definition of a “random act of kindness” on Wikipedia.  Just reading it made me smile. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone performed one random act of kindness a day?

“A random act of kindness is a selfless act performed by a person or persons wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual or in some cases an animal. There will generally be no reason other than to make people smile, or be happier. Either spontaneous or planned in advance, random acts of kindness are encouraged by various communities.”

Much has changed in our lives over that last two years. Travis has retired from the Marine Corps. We moved out of our old apartment into the one that we are living in now. Travis had CyberKnife radiation. Victoria started middle school. We received AMAZING NEWS that Travis’ pesky Schwannoma tumor succumbed to Dr. Adler’s treatment. NO MORE TUMOR!!!! I started back at work and went back to college.

Travis accepted his dream job at Northrop Grumman. He entered through a wonderful program called Operation Impact. Since retiring from the Marine Corps. Travis has been seeing new doctors. He struggled through Methadone withdrawal and is now 100% METHADONE FREE. He has a prescription for Vicodin to use for breakthrough pain but he has not taken any since June 30th. He has come a long way from his daily doses of 3000mg of Neurontin and 10mg of Methadone.

Our offer was accepted on our first home. (We are in escrow right now.)

Travis came down with Diverticulitis and then suffered from a secondary infection as a result of the antibiotics given to him to treat the Diverticulitis.

So much has happened over the last two years.  Life sure has not been easy but things seem to be turning around.  We are learning to see the glass as half full rather than half empty.  I expect that we will continue to face hurdles but what I have learned is there is nothing that Travis and I cannot accomplish if we put our hearts into it.

So that was almost two years ago.  There has been many tough days and nights.   There has also been a lot of rewards.  That day really changed me.  I have built up a lot of strength and I am now able to do things that I never imagined I would be doing. For example, this is what I did yesterday:

• woke up
• baked cookies
• did laundry
• ironed my shirt
• took a shower and got ready
• went to the bank
• put gas in my car
• went to a second bank
• went grocery shopping
• stopped to by myself some flowers
• played tennis with Victoria
• took Victoria to the pool
• painted my nails
• went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to buy a few things I needed for dinner
• went to World Market to get some containers for Travis’s tea
• made cheese ravioli from scratch with Victoria

Now that is everything those are the main things that I remember but there are also little things that I accomplished as well.  My point of sharing a day in my life with is…”The Show Must Go On!”

That cliche came to me this morning when I was washing the dishes.  Sure I could have spent the last few years feeling sorry for myself, sad, and angry.  I do have those days.  There are plenty of days when I cry and when I am frustrated.  But I try my best to remind myself that I have to keep going.  Feeling sorry for myself 24/7 and not going to make my life any better.  So I have to find the strength for myself and my family and do my best to carry on. 

Reflecting over these last two years I realize how much I have changed.  I am not so materialistic because I realize that in times like these even a designer purse or a fancy car can’t bring long term happiness.  I cut back on drinking.  I RARELY ever drink anymore because I am the only driver in the family and I have the responsibility to take care of my family.  I have found my passion in life.  Helping people and health-care.  I have had an interest in health-care for years now but it was more a curiosity, rather than the desire to learn and help people.  I have started my classes again at school. I am highly motivated to finish college (my goal is to graduate college before Victoria graduates high school) and submerge myself in the medical field where I can touch the lives of needy families much the way that Travis’s flight surgeon touched ours.

I hope that others will also find the silver lining in the dark cloud may have parked over their family.  Rather than blaming a “part of life”, be productive and push yourself to the limit.

I am thankful that he is getting better.  I was nervous that his eye would not correct itself again.  He beat the odds the first time after his initial surgery.  I thought that the chances of his eye beating the odds twice were slim to none.  Well I guess he is a lucky guy because his eye seems to be working hard to get back to normal.

Travis has also driven a couple more times.  He can’t drive by himself because he can’t see everything to the left of him.  As long as he has a “co-pilot” can drive pretty well.

Travis also mentioned the other day that the cold sensations that he used to get after he took his first sip of a drink are happening far less.  I think this means it is another area of healing.

All in all I could not ask for anything more.  Over the last two years our family has overcome more than I ever could have imagined.  So many steps of this journey have been a challenge.  So many times I could hardly get through the day.  Looking towards the next month or holiday seemed unreal.  It was hard enough just getting through the day.  A year and a half ago I could never have imagined that we could have got this far. 

We just celebrated Thanksgiving and there was so much that we were thankful for.  More holidays are approaching and Travis’s improving health is more than I could ask for. 

The IV went in smoothly and Travis waited on the gurney for his turn.  They wheeled him in a room that had the CT machine.  They positioned him on the bed and made the custom mask which will be used to keep his head in place when he gets his radiation on Friday.  When they attempted to administer the contract for the CT Scan there were some complication with the IV.  Luckily the Ativan was working and Travis was pretty calm.  The CT Scan took less than 5 minutes.  After the scan they wheeled as back to a waiting area so that we could wait for Travis’s MRI. 

Dr. Adler (Travis’s neurosurgeon) came by to tell us that there was a “slight problem”.  They were not able to see Travis’s tumor on the CT Scan.  What a sigh of relief.  This does not guarantee that the tumor is gone forever.  What it does tell us is that it did not quickly grow back.  Dr. Adler said that he knew that he got a lot of the tumor out but it appears that the residual is smaller than he expected it to be. 

I will take this great news as an early Christmas gift.  Even though the appointment yesterday went well there was still a little bit of doubt in my mind.  The picture (CT/MRI) does not lie.  There was a chance that the tumor could have grown back like last time.  The fact that the tumor was not seen on today’s scan is a great sign. 

As we waited in the Radiation Therapy unit we had interaction with a lot of different doctors, nurses and Stanford associates.  It is rare when you come across ONE caring person in a day.  In this unit and the entire hospital EVERYONE here is so caring.  It means so much to be in such a comforting environment when you are dealing with medical hurdles.  The majority of life you are a number everywhere you go.  In a classroom, at the bank, at a restaurant, but here, they really make you feel like they care about you. 

Travis went on to have an MRI.  After the MRI we were instructed to return to the Radiation Therapy Unit.  When we returned we were told that they would call us to confirm the radiation appointment for Friday.  After a long day we were ready to go back to the hotel so that we could rest.

I will update again soon.

It was sad to leave Indiana but I know we will visit again soon.  It was also a good thing that we left when we did because less than 24 hours after we got home there were major fires in our area.  We got home from Indiana late Saturday night, late Sunday night we started packing and by 1:30am Monday morning we were evacuating to Los Angeles.

As we were packing up our things in San Diego in preparation for the fire I was more annoyed than scared.  I was tired and overwhelmed; I could not bring myself to think of all of the things I needed to pack.  I think I may have been in denial at the time.  I knew that the fire was extremely close so I wanted to leave our place but I really did not think that our things would actually burn.  So we packed up our care with clothes, pictures, important paperwork and other junk.  We arrived in Los Angeles around 3:30am.  It felt good to be back at my parent’s house.  I slept for a few hours but woke up early.  I talked with my parents for a bit before they went to work.  For some reason I was not too upset.  I started to think about al l of the things that I should have brought but didn’t.  I began to feel bad because I did not bring enough of Tori’s things.  If our place burned I would hate for her to have to deal with large hurdle in life.  I left her Halloween costume and most of her clothes.  I knew that all of her things could be replaced but I don’t want her to have to deal with that kind of stuff.  My mom reassured me that everything would be okay and as long as we got out safely everything else could be replaced.

The more I thought about that the more I became at ease.  My husband has a brain tumor.  In a heartbeat I would trade anything I own for his health back.  His tumor has taught me that love, family, and happiness are priceless.  Everything else is just the extras in life. Once I reminded myself of this I stopped listening non-stop to the news.  Watching the news was not going to stop our place from burning.  Watching the news is just dwelling on negativity.  I made the most of my time here in Los Angeles.  I spent time with my family and tried something new…sewing.  I have been wanting a retro half apron.  I was really happy when I found on in Indiana.  But with my free time in Los Angeles and my mom’s new sewing machine I put my time to good use.  I sewed three aprons.  If it was not for the fire I am not sure I would have ended up taking the time to make these aprons.  So good came out of bad.  Not that the aprons are worth the fire but rather than sit in my parents home and cry about the fires, I got productive.

In closing, each day rather than rushing through I am now learning from the challenges that I face.  I won’t cry over a hacked website or a burned couch.  Nothing is more important than having my family and friends healthy.  Everything else in life can be bought or fixed.  I am going to continue to do my best to stay grounded and remind myself not to stress about the things that can be bought or fixed and to appreciate the time I have with my loved ones.

Anyway, I have got pretty attached to this website for a number of reasons.  It is about my husband and our life, it is my first website, I spend a lot of time thinking about the content that I want to put on it, I share my deepest feeling on it, and so on.  Okay so this morning I make it a priority to write an update for the website.  I wanted to share with everyone Travis’s progress.  So after I get up, get Tori off to school, empty the dishwasher, do some laundry, take a shower, and write the update I attempt to upload my newest post.  I type www.wonky-eye.com into the address bar on my web browser and my website is gone!!!!

All of the work that I put into the website had vanished.  I refreshed the page hoping that there was some sort of a glitch but that did not work.  I freaked out for a minute.  Then I asked myself what I should do.  The only thing that I could think of was to tell Travis.  To no surprise Travis saved the day.  He got on the phone with our webhost and they had a back up of my files.  While Travis was talking to the webhost figuring out whether or not they had my files backed up a lot ran through my mind.  At first I felt like this was devastating news.

Then I put it all into perspective, if my website was lost was it really the end of the world???  Not really.  Would I trade this website for Travis’s health?  Yes.  Would I give up this website in exchange for us not to be in a car accident? Yes. 

So really in the grand scheme of life it was not worth letting this occurrence ruin my day.  I am thankful for the things that are truly important to me and though I appreciate some of the other things that life has to offer I am not going to let these less significant have a severe negative effect on my life.

Obvioulsy if you are reading this Travis got my website back up.  We have taken extra precautionary measures in hopes that this won’t happen again.  But if it does, Life goes on.  I hope this story helps you to cope with some of your stress. 
 

Stand Strong Again is a nonprofit organization set up to assist in funding spinal cord research.  Money also goes towards providing  resources to action sports participants who have suffered spinal cord injuries to assist in the treatment of, recovery from, and ultimate transition to life with, spinal cord injuries.

Grind For Life is also a nonprofit organization.  It was started back in 2003 by Mike Rodgers, a life-long skateboarder, after his second battle with sarcoma cancer.  The mission of the Grind For Life organization is to provide financial assistance to cancer patients and their families when traveling long distances to doctors and hospitals. In addition, they educate and inspire these patients and families concerning cancer survival and recovery. 

I plan on writing more about these two great organizations very soon but I am just too tired to do it tonight.   I did want to get these links up ASAP so I wrote this quick post.  Have a good night.