Wednesday was day 1 of being Methadone free.  Travis was able to go golfing after his pain management appointment.  Although Travis was a little achy I think that there was still Methadone in his system from the days before.

Thursday was day 2, Travis stayed in bed most of the day.

Friday was day 3, Travis stayed in bed again.  His systems are cold chills, irritability, achnyness, loss of appetite, stomach upset, restless nights, insomnia just to name a few.  Travis did not feel like doing much of anything.  I pushed him to get up and take a shower.  He was not in the move to move but I thought that a long shower may make him feel better.  The shower actually gave him some relief and I think he stayed in the shower until the hot water ran out.

Saturday was day 4, Travis went sailing!  We were invited to join a good friend on her sailboat.  I mentioned it to Travis and he was eager to go.  I was not sure it was such a good idea but if he wanted to try it I was going to support him.  He took to Dramamine to prevent motion sickness as well as his morning dose of Vicodin and Neurontin.  The mix of the 3 medications knocked him out and he took a short nap while we were sailing.  Other than the nap he did pretty well on our 4 hour sailing trip but by the end of the trip he had reached his limit and was ready to go home.  We went home slept again and rested the remainder of the evening.

Sunday was day 5, was pretty much like day 2.  Travis was not feeling well and he stayed in bed most of the day.

Monday was day 6, Travis started the day off in bed and complained of the list of symptoms listed above.  I did some research and find some info online that recommended a cocktail of vitamins and supplements to take to help the detox process.  I made a list of the “ingredients” and we went off to the health food store.  We bought most of what was suggested and it put us back $40, well worth it if it was going to provider Travis some relief.    Once we got back to the store I encourage Travis to play the Wii.  I noticed that when he is up and moving around he seems to feel better than when he lays in bed.  He played Tiger Woods golf for over an hour and seemed to enjoy himself.  That night he started his first round of the supplements.  One that may have worked was the Melatonin.  Travis has complained that he has been unable to sleep.  I gave him the Melatonin and within 30 minutes he was sleeping.  Either his body had enough and he was going to sleep either way or the Melatonin worked.  Regardless, he got better nights sleep.

Tuesday was day 7, this was a great day.  (Travis woke up with the same list of symptoms.) Travis’ cell phone rang at 6:40am.  He did not answer the call; he let it go to voice mail.  I was in the shower and he came to tell me that the early morning call was a long awaited job offer.  Travis had been waiting on this offer for almost 2 months.  This was a nice way to start off the day.  I went to work and later on he called me and mentioned that he had an appointment with a college counselor.  I wanted him to go but I would not have been disappointed with him had he skipped it.  I would have been so easy to use his withdrawal as an excuse to miss the appointment but instead he gathered his strength, drove to the college, and made his appointment with the counselor.  I was so proud of him.  After the appointment he picked up our daughter from school.  Then he rested in bed the remainder of the evening.  He took the Melatonin (along with the rest of the supplements) and fell asleep shortly after.

So far what I have noticed is that although this is a painful process for him, getting out of bed and moving around helps him feels better.  Also making him laugh distracts him from his pain and discomfort.  Laughter is the best medicine!

Now that he is retired ( I have to catch you up with that on a later post) we decided it would be best for him to see a new pain management specialist. Travis decided to try Dr. Moon as he was recommended by our neighbor. Dr. Moon suggested that Travis start tapering off his Neurontin. This began on 5/9/09. Dr. Moon gave Travis some 300mg Neurontin so that he could start weaning himself down with a 600mg dose instead of a 1000mg dose. That was going very well and Travis seemed to tolerate the lesser dose. That was until Travis miscalculated how many Methadone he had left. On Travis’s 5/9/09 appointment he told Dr. Moon that he had enough Methadone to last until his follow up appointment on 5/20/09. Well Travis made an error counting the pills and he was short. So Travis cut his Methadone doses in half and went from taking 10mg daily to taking 5 mg daily. With the Methadone taper, Travis seemed to experience more irritability, stomach upset, and all over achiness.

On 5/20/09, I accompanied Travis to his appointment with Dr. Moon. At this appointment Dr. Moon prescribed 500mg Vicodin to use in place of his Methadone. He also suggested that Travis continue to taper off the Neurontin. He suggested that Travis be completely off the Neurontin by his next appointment which is in 4 weeks. Dr. Moon advised us that there will not be any Withdrawal from the Neurontin but the reason that Travis cannot stop “cold turkey” is because that could cause a seizure. So week by week Travis will be taking less Neurontin until he is completely off.

Travis is having a hard time with the Methadone Withdrawal. He was given the 500mg Vicodin to help him comfortably phase off. Our goal is to get Travis medication free by about 4 weeks from now. At that point Travis’s body will have an opportunity to feel what pain and discomfort is actually occurring naturally. Dr. Moon said that he has some patients who actually feel better off all medications. Once Travis is off all of his medications and Withdrawal free then we will explore other option of pain control.

Until then I will attempt to keep a brief daily diary of his medication consumption and the symptoms that he is feeling on that day. I believe doing this will help Dr. Moon see an accurate picture of what Travis’s has been dealing with and I also think the information will be useful for the website. I will try and update daily, here is what I have so far:

5/21/09
AM- Woke up with a stomach ache. Feels “groggy”, more tingly in face and chin.
1 Pepcid (7:00am)
600mg Neurontin (9:00am)
500mg Vicodin (9:00am)

MID-
600mg Neurontin
500mg Vicodin

PM- Sleepless night
600mg Neurontin
500mg Vicodin

We were at Balboa Hospital for follow up appointments. We had also planned to meet our new counselor advocate. We met with him and he was very patient and pleasant. The three of us sat together and Travis and I told him about everything that we have been going through. He gave us his undivided attention and listened to everything that we had to say. He advised us of different ways to get help and offered us suggestions and advice. He mentioned a program called Computer/Electric Accommodations Program (CAP). Taken from their website, “CAP provides assistive technology and services to people with disabilities, Federal managers, supervisors, IT professionals, and Wounded Services Members. We buy it, we pay for it, we get it to the users, it’s just that simple.” Our Counselor advocate noticed Travis’s memory loss and felt that Travis would benefit by using a PDA. The counselor advocate, Mr. V told us that there were other devices that Travis may benefit by using. Mr. V sated that he would do his best to get Travis a PDA and informed us that he would contact us when he received the device.

After meeting with Mr. V we couldn’t believe that we had met this person who showed so much concern for what we were going through. Mr. V has a huge heart and we are so thankful that we were fortunate enough to meet him. We walked over to the pharmacy to wait him Travis’s prescription. While we were waiting Travis received a call from Mr. V. He said that he wanted to meet us in the pharmacy. Mr. V found us and asked us to fill out a one page application form for the Injured Marine Semper Fi Fund. I filled out the application for Travis and Mr. V explained to us that this organization may be able to get us the same PDA that we discussed minutes ago but that this organization could possibly get it to us quicker. We sat and chatted with Mr. V for a while until Travis’s prescription was ready. Then we went home. This was on a Friday.

Monday morning Travis and I were on base at Travis’s unit doing some paper work for our upcoming Trip to Stanford. When we finished in his unit we got in Travis’s car, and then he got a phone call. It was from a lady named Sondria. She was calling from the Injured Marine Semper Fi Fund. She introduced herself and asked Travis a little bit about himself and our family. He shared about the last two years; the surgeries, radiation, complications, our family, as well as my resignation from work. She asked Travis for his address and told him that she was sending him a check/grant as well as getting the PDA for him. Travis finished the call with Sondria and explained to me what had happened. Travis was in shock. He was not used to anyone doing anything for him. We went home and had dinner.

The next day we took Victoria to one of her medical appointments. On our way home we check the mail. There was an envelope from the Injured Marine Semper Fi Fund. Travis became nervous and did not know what to do. We sent Victoria upstairs so that he could open the envelope privately. Travis sat on the sofa with the envelope, he asked me to sit next to him. I patiently waited as he carefully opened the envelope. There was a signed letter from the organization and a check. Travis looked at the amount on the check and tears started to fill his eyes. I looked down at the check and noticed the GENEROUS amount. We were both speechless. About 24 hours after talking to Sondria, a check was in our mailbox. It has been a week today since Travis received this check and typing it today still brings those same feelings back. It is hard to put those feelings to words and it is hard to explain how my body feels. It is unbelievable that someone that we never met could do this for us and it is even crazier that there are many people who donate and contribute to this organization and makes gifts like this possible.

I am so thankful for this check because it means so much to my husband. These last few years have felt like everything was going wrong. After two years of trying so hard and fighting with all that we had left in us, we finally got a break. I can’t ever replay the people who made this possible. I wish that I would have video taped my husband opening the envelope because then everyone would have been able to see the beauty of his happiness.

Travis sent Sondria an email to thank her because he could not get through to her on the phone. She called Travis back on Wednesday morning. Travis thanked her over the phone. We were both still in shock over the generous gift. Sondria spoke with my husband more about our living situation and the sprung another surprise on us. She wanted us to go to Sleep Train, pick out a comfortable mattress, and have the invoice sent to her. Again, Travis got tears in his eyes. He is not used to anything like this. He has been supporting himself since he left home at 18 years old. Everything he has, he has paid for with money he has earned. Large gifts are not something he is used to.

This all seemed too good to be true. After two years of struggle we have been blessed by meeting these wonderful people who have lifted some of the stress off of our shoulders.

On Thursday we went to Sleep Train. We tried out many mattresses in the store and we found one that was like sleeping on clouds. Travis LOVED the mattress. It made me really happy to see him enjoying himself. We had a very nice salesman who we shared our story with. Travis like the salesman so much that Travis took a picture with him. The mattress was set to be delivered on Friday.

Friday Travis and I went to Balboa for some medical appointments. He had to see his oral maxofacial surgeon, the pain management clinic, neuro-opthamology and we met with Mr. V. We went to Mr. V’s office. He presented Travis with the new super cool PDA device. Needless to say we were very thankful for everyone’s generosity. We spoke to Mr. V about other things going on and without hesitation Mr. V offered us more help and advice on some issues that we were dealing with.

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I had a hard time writing this entry. I was having a difficult time finding the right words to accurately describe the feelings that we were feeling. The support and generosity still seem unreal to us. I will do my best to accurately update and hopefully I can make a video soon to share with you Travis’s true reaction to daily events.

Please take some time to read about the Injured Marine Semper Fi Fund. The website tells about who they are and has testimonials about what they have done. I am not trying to pressure anyone but if you are interesting in helping this organization to help others, you can donate by clicking here.

Some days you would never know anything was wrong with him, especially if he was wearing his hat and glasses.  Then there are other days; days that usually start off in pain.  A day like this usually starts when he wakes up with a headache.  He will spend most of the day sleeping because the pain exhausts him.  Seeing him like this makes me sad.  I hate it when I cannot help to make him feel better. 

Travis is still wearing the Duragesic pain patch for his back pain and he takes his Neurontin daily but he normally does not use any other pain medication.  He has Vicodin, Oxycontin, and Motrin prescribed by doctors but as strong as they may seem they usually do not help with his headaches.  Sometimes he uses Excedrin Migraine and he seems to get better results from the Excedrin than the prescribed medications.

On Sunday it was Travis’s 11 year anniversary in the Marine Corps.  Victoria and I were so excited, probably more than he was.  We like to celebrate this day because we are very proud of his hard work, sacrifices, and dedication to our country.  We had planned to go out to dinner and miniature golfing (Travis’s request).  Victoria and I woke up early and made him cookies and breakfast.  Victoria also made him a special card.  But on Sunday Travis woke up and did not feel well.  He spent the day in bed so we had to cancel our plans.

Travis woke up Monday and felt better.  He was well enough to go with me to take Victoria to her tumbling class.  He woke up Tuesday and had another good day.  Now it is Wednesday and he woke up with a headache again.  I took Tori to school and I suggested he go back to sleep.  I am hoping that he will wake up a little later feeling better.  I have a lot to do today and I think that I will still be able to run my errands. 

Seeing Travis on days like this kind of get me down but what I tell myself is that the reason that he is in pain and is so tired is because his body is fighting so hard against the tumor.  I really hope this is the case.  I try and think positive about our situation.

Travis is a really smart guy.  He is one of the hardest workers I know.  I hate that this has been happening to him.  I hope that it is related to all of the medication that he is on and that it is not something permanent.