Much has changed in our lives over that last two years. Travis has retired from the Marine Corps. We moved out of our old apartment into the one that we are living in now. Travis had CyberKnife radiation. Victoria started middle school. We received AMAZING NEWS that Travis’ pesky Schwannoma tumor succumbed to Dr. Adler’s treatment. NO MORE TUMOR!!!! I started back at work and went back to college.

Travis accepted his dream job at Northrop Grumman. He entered through a wonderful program called Operation Impact. Since retiring from the Marine Corps. Travis has been seeing new doctors. He struggled through Methadone withdrawal and is now 100% METHADONE FREE. He has a prescription for Vicodin to use for breakthrough pain but he has not taken any since June 30th. He has come a long way from his daily doses of 3000mg of Neurontin and 10mg of Methadone.

Our offer was accepted on our first home. (We are in escrow right now.)

Travis came down with Diverticulitis and then suffered from a secondary infection as a result of the antibiotics given to him to treat the Diverticulitis.

So much has happened over the last two years.  Life sure has not been easy but things seem to be turning around.  We are learning to see the glass as half full rather than half empty.  I expect that we will continue to face hurdles but what I have learned is there is nothing that Travis and I cannot accomplish if we put our hearts into it.

Travis went upstairs and called his flight surgeon to let him know what had happened.  Tori and I stayed downstairs to clean up dinner.  Tori started to cry, she told me that she hates seeing Travis and pain and she is tired of him not feeling well.  I explained to her that I felt the same way but that Travis has fought through 2 major surgeries and that he can fight through this new obstacle.

I send Tori upstairs to change into comfortable clothes and suggest that she pack a backpack with a blanket and some things to keep her occupied.  I check on Travis who confirms with me that his flight surgeon wants him to go to the hospital.  I pack my backpack with one of my textbooks and a highlighter and a couple bottles of water.

We arrived at the hospital and went directly to the CT Scan area to meet Travis’s flight surgeon.  As always, seeing the flight surgeon brought me a sense of comfort and safety.  We spoke with his flight surgeon for a while and he told us to have the radiologist call him after the CT  Scan was complete.  The three of us waited patiently for about two hours before Travis was called for his turn.  Tori tried to get some rest while I studied for my class.

After the CT Scan we headed down to the emergency room.  We checked in and took a seat.  The ER was FILLED with people, mostly parents with ill babies.  Tori found a seat and again tried to get comfortable with her blanket.  The waiting room was bright and loud.  It took hours for Travis to be called for his turn.  When we checked in we gave a detailed description of Travis’s medical history and the new problem Travis was having but all the clerk would note was, “patient has headache on left side.”  We believe that this is the reason that we were left sitting for HOURS in the waiting room of the ER.

When Travis was finally called to go back we left Tori in the waiting room and followed the nurse to the bed.  We sat and waited for a few minutes and then was approached by a doctor who asked Travis, “how is your headache feeling?” We explained to the doctor that Travis did not have a “headache”.  We told him about Travis’s medical history and gave him a detailed description of what brought him to the ER.  The doctor advised us that Travis could not be helped in that area and that he would need to be moved to another area because of the seriousness of his condition. 

All the while, Tori was sitting alone in the ER waiting room.  It was now late at night and it was a school night.  So Travis gets put into a new bed in a new area of the ER.  Another doctor came in to see Travis and ask him what was going on.  Travis and I explained to him how Travis was feeling and the doctor advised us that he wanted to do a spinal tap.  We were not happy about this because twice before doctors had mentioned doing this painful procedure to Travis and then later decided that it was not needed.  So I talked to Travis about it and we decided that if the doctor wants to do it then we should probably let him.  Then I ran back to the waiting room to check on Tori and give her an update on Travis.  A lady at the reception desk advised me to limit my trips to check on her because the hospital does not like people going back and forth.  What was I really suppose to do?  We do not have a babysitter for Victoria and we were not comfortable leaving her home alone at night for who knows how long.  We did not want her going back to see Travis getting treated because it would have been too traumatic for her to see Travis and other patients being cared for.

So after I check on Tori and tell her that Travis is okay, I return to Travis.  This time another doctor is checking on him and asking him questions.  This doctor informs us that a spinal tap is not necessary (thank god) and that they wanted to do blood work on him.  A corpsman (military nurse) comes in and starts an IV on Travis and draws some blood.  Travis sits there for a while and I began feeling very uncomfortable leaving Tori alone in the waiting room so I return to the waiting room and tell Travis to call me on the cell phone if he needs me. 

When I return to the waiting room I see Tori sprawled out across three chairs (the chairs had arms) with her blanket over her face.  She somehow managed to fall asleep.  I sat next to her in the waiting room and stared at her and started thinking.

I am so proud of my daughter for the strength and maturity she has gained from this entire experience.  She has also learned about sacrifice.  I hate that she had to give up her gymnastics class that night. And I hate that she has had to give up so much because of Travis’s brain tumor.  The whole thing is really not fair to her.  But she has never complained about the sacrifices that she has had to make.  Rather, she is always concerned about Travis’s well being.  I love her so much and I hate that she had to learn these tough life lessons but I am proud of her for the ways that she has adapted and grown through these last two years.

And in case you are wondering what the outcome of the whole ER trip was…  We left the ER at about 3:00am, the diagnosis…TMJ.  They could not figure out what caused the pain or why it suddenly came on when Travis now bites down or sneezes so they said that all it was is TMJ.  Something the we already knew that he had.  So the entire 8 hours in the ER was pretty much a waste of time.  Luckily, Travis did not have the spinal tap done.

So much has happened since I last wrote. I will do my best to recall the important stuff.

Friday, July13, 2007 was surgery day. I had a lot of confidence in Dr. Adler but I was still so scared. Even though I should have thought of positive things all I could think about was losing Travis. His first surgery was 11 hours and I felt so luck for him to pull through it. So back to the 13th, the surgery went really well. It was completed in 4-5 hours which was less than half the time of his first surgery. After surgery Travis was wheeled by us as we waiting in the waiting area and he looked better than I expected him to look. He was not nearly as swollen as his last surgery.

Dr. Adler told us that he was able to remove more of the tumor than he initially expected and that he took out about 90% of the tumor. This was great news.

Travis was in the ICU over night and did great. On July14th Travis was transferred out of ICU and put in a regular room. Travis did so well the next few days. His pain was minimal and his swelling was going down by the day. On Monday July 16th Travis was released from the hospital. Travis was doing well except for a side effect from one of his medications. Decadron was used to help reduce the swelling but it ended up also causing Travis oral thrush. We made a trip back to Dr. Adler on Tuesday July 17th and Travis was prescribed Nystatin to treat the thrush.

As soon as we returned home from the hospital Travis was complaining about his back hurting. I went out and got him a heating pad and he sat on it for the next few days. I suggested making a trip to the emergency room but Travis did not want to.

By Sunday July 22nd Travis could not walk because his back hurt him so bad. At 10:00pm we went to the emergency room at Stanford. They started him on an IV, gave him pain medication, took blood, urine, and did an x-ray of his back. After all of the tests the doctors could not figure out what was wrong. Travis did not have a fever. They wanted Travis to get an MRI but they said the soonest he could have one would be at 7:00am the following morning. Travis and I squeezed together on the gurney and tried to get some rest.

The sun rose and it was now Monday, July 23rd. Travis had his follow up appointment scheduled with Dr. Adler at 9:00am. Around 7:00am Travis went downstairs. While I was waiting in the MRI waiting area I met two other families who were also there because one of each of them also had a brain tumor. I know this may sound wrong but it feels good to meet people who are going through what we are. I would never wish this disease on anyone but at the same time it feels good not to be alone. Friends and family can be very supportive but meeting people who live with what you do offers something else.

After the MRI was done we were taken back to the emergency room to wait for the findings. The neurosurgeon on call came and spoke with us. Something was seen on the MRI. She was not sure what it was but she said that it was large and that it could be another tumor, possibly another Schwannoma. When she explained this to us I did not even want to look at Travis. That was the last thing that I wanted to hear and I hated to imagine the pain and fright that was going through Travis’s mind. That news killed me. After feeling that the second surgery was a success the heavy depression was lifted off of my shoulders. The last year had been so difficult. Everything was day by day. We could never plan for the future because never knew what was already planned for us. When Dr. Adler told us that he removed more of the tumor than he expected, all of my hopes and dreams for the future had been restored. I felt like Travis and I had finally beaten this nasty game. Days later when we were told that there was a large mass of “something” on his lower spine (T-1 and T-2) I felt like our future and our happiness had again been robbed from us. Millions of ideas ran through my head, losing my husband, losing our apartment, many more hospital stays, telling Tori the sad new, the impact that it would have on her, these are just a few of the things that raced through my head after were told the heart breaking news.

The neurosurgeon in the emergency room still wanted Travis to see Dr. Adler for his 9:00am appointment. I hugged Travis and smiled at him. Not because I was happy but because I felt so helpless. I wanted to take all of this away from him but I could not. All I could do for my husband at that time was to be as strong as possible for my husband. At this point I kind of felt like a zombie; I think I was in shock. I felt like crying and I felt empty inside but I held myself together and carefully wheeled Travis to his appointment with Dr. Adler.

When we met with Dr. Adler he advised us that he reviewed the MRI of Travis’s back and discussed the images with the head of Radiology. Together they agreed that what was seen on the MRI was not a tumor. During surgery some blood had leaked down Travis’s spine and collected. The collection of blood was pushing against his spinal cord and this was the cause for the pain Travis was having. Dr. Adler explained that over time the collection of blood would be broken down by the body and Travis would be back to normal. However, he wanted Travis admitted to the hospital to get his pain under control.

Before we left Dr. Adler’s office an assistant removed the staples from Travis’s head. We did not get an exact count but there were about 40. After his staples were removed we were told to go downstairs to “Patient Admitting” and that by the time we got down there orders would be in the system.

We went downstairs to Patient Admitting, the lady behind the desk told us that she did not see anything in the system for Travis; she recommended that we return to the emergency room so that Travis could be admitted that way. It was not a surprise when we arrived back at the emergency room and they did not know what to do with us. They checked their computer system which showed that Travis was still in the emergency room. After we explained to them the entire story they found Travis a bed in the hallway of the emergency room to wait in until they could admit him into the hospital. By this time we had been up for over 24 hours and at the hospital emergency room for over 12 hours with little rest and nothing to eat. I spoke with the nurse about getting Travis some pain medication. Once Travis was comfortable I left to get us some food.

It was a good thing I got us food because Travis did not end up getting put into a room until 5:00pm on Monday July, 23rd. (We got to the hospital at 10:00pm on Sunday July 22nd.)

Once Travis was put in his room he was pumped with lots of pain medication and had frequent visits from doctor’s and nurses. The plan was for him to get his pain under control. This was going to be done with the help of pain management doctors. Travis was hooked up to a pump. The pump had a button that Travis could push when he felt pain. The button would release Dilaudid and he could be administered the medication as frequent as every 10 minutes. Once Travis was hooked up to the pump it took a few button pushes before his pain was relieved. Within an hour Travis was feeling a lot better. The pain management doctor explained that the amount of times that Travis pushed the button on his pain pump would be factored into “recipe” for Travis’s pain medication.

I was relieved to see Travis feeling so much better. Within a few hours he was out of bed, moving around, straightening the room, and even shaving. My Travis was back. We spent a few more days in the hospital while they monitored Travis. Unfortunately the hospital could not get me a bed so I slept with some blankets on the floor next to Travis. One night we tried to share his bed but it was way too uncomfortable.

On Travis’s 4th day in the hospital the pain management team came in and told us that Travis was going to be released. They came up with a combination of medications that they felt would work to take away his back pain. They sent Travis home with the following medications to be taken every six hours: 2 Oxycontin, 800mg Motrin, 975 mg Tylenol, 1000mg Neurontin. He also was to wear a Duragesic patch that was to be changed every 72 hours. The combination of these medications took about 95% of Travis’s pain away.