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The Show Must Go On!!!!

February 10th, 2008 · No Comments

We are approaching the two year mark to the day that Travis was diagnosed.  I still remember that day.  He was sitting up in a hospital bed.  I walked in the room and there were some doctors in there with him.  Then they explained to me that Travis had a brain tumor.  There was no way to prepare for that news.  I had no idea that anything serious was wrong with him.  I knew he had some problems with double vision and I knew his mouth was tingly but I NEVER expected to be told that he had a brain tumor.  The moment I heard the news I felt like the world had stopped.  It seemed like a bad dream.  A few minutes later we walked down the hall to view the MRI and CAT scan.  That is when it really hit me.  Looking back on that hour of my life still brings tears to my eyes.  After we looked at the images of Travis’s brain and the large tumor we attempted to get up and leave that room to return to Travis’s hospital room.  I was so overwhelmed by the images and the news that I had just received that I started to panic.  I tried my best to hold myself together but I could not.  I felt light headed, hot and then cold, and I felt like I could not breathe.  I was trying so hard to stay strong but nothing I could do would stop my body from reacting.  I am embarrassed to admit but I had to be wheeled out in a wheelchair.

So that was almost two years ago.  There has been many tough days and nights.   There has also been a lot of rewards.  That day really changed me.  I have built up a lot of strength and I am now able to do things that I never imagined I would be doing. For example, this is what I did yesterday:

  • woke up
  • baked cookies
  • did laundry
  • ironed my shirt
  • took a shower and got ready
  • went to the bank
  • put gas in my car
  • went to a second bank
  • went grocery shopping
  • stopped to by myself some flowers
  • played tennis with Victoria
  • took Victoria to the pool
  • painted my nails
  • went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to buy a few things I needed for dinner
  • went to World Market to get some containers for Travis’s tea
  • made cheese ravioli from scratch with Victoria

Now that is everything those are the main things that I remember but there are also little things that I accomplished as well.  My point of sharing a day in my life with is…”The Show Must Go On!”

That cliche came to me this morning when I was washing the dishes.  Sure I could have spent the last few years feeling sorry for myself, sad, and angry.  I do have those days.  There are plenty of days when I cry and when I am frustrated.  But I try my best to remind myself that I have to keep going.  Feeling sorry for myself 24/7 and not going to make my life any better.  So I have to find the strength for myself and my family and do my best to carry on. 

Reflecting over these last two years I realize how much I have changed.  I am not so materialistic because I realize that in times like these even a designer purse or a fancy car can’t bring long term happiness.  I cut back on drinking.  I RARELY ever drink anymore because I am the only driver in the family and I have the responsibility to take care of my family.  I have found my passion in life.  Helping people and health-care.  I have had an interest in health-care for years now but it was more a curiosity, rather than the desire to learn and help people.  I have started my classes again at school. I am highly motivated to finish college (my goal is to graduate college before Victoria graduates high school) and submerge myself in the medical field where I can touch the lives of needy families much the way that Travis’s flight surgeon touched ours.

I hope that others will also find the silver lining in the dark cloud may have parked over their family.  Rather than blaming a “part of life”, be productive and push yourself to the limit.

Tags: advice · everyday life · happy ending · life lesson · mood · positive · stress · thankful · thoughts · words of advice