Well have had a few days that have been good. The recovery is going well. Lots of meals out and lots of tv.
Today has not been such a good day. I try to stay strong but sometimes the stress of this gets me down. I get so frustrated that everything was robbed from me. I am tired of living my life “day by day” I want a normal life. I miss working and going to school. I miss normalcy. It is not his fault and I think what I am feeling is to be expected. It takes so much out of us to act like everything is fine, to be optimistic. But I am drained, I hate that this happened to him and to us. Everything was perfect. Then he was diagnosed and so much was taken from us. I hate the saying that life is not fair. I know that some people go through way worse but that does not make me feel any better at times like this. The way that I feel right now really sucks. I want this to be over already. I wish I could run away from this all but there is no where to run. And running won’t solve anything. I don’t have much more to say right now. I just hope that the rest of my day gets better.
So the day got much better. Some friends came over to visit and we had a BBQ. Good friends mean so much at difficult times like these. When they came over we ate and drank and all of the sadness I had earlier was pushed to the back of my mind. I really enjoyed myself.